Misa's Diary AKA Can You Get Any Dumber?
by AllThatGlittersIsEmu
Summary: We get to take a closer look into Misa's life as she shares her diary with us. WARNING: You may lose a few, if not all,of your brain cells after reading this. *Maybe considered offensive to some*
1. History Class

Hi people ^;^ my attempt at humor, it'll probably suck but here we go. Misa is speaking, but she is speaking third person for some unexplainable reason. Happy reading~

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><p>So today Misa went to get her roster changed so she could have the same classes as Light-kun and L, who Misa believes is contemplating on taking Misa's boyfriend, although Light-kun is too shy to admit his undying love for Misa. Any way so Misa arrived in History class just a tad late, Misa got lost following the shiny lights lined across the ceiling. Misa took a seat near Light-kun as L was seated next to him, and for some odd reason had his hand in Light-kun's pocket, it must've tickled as Light-kun kept jerking and whispering as L was searching for something. Anyway, Misa raise her hand to ask a question, since he was talking about maps it was sure to be a hot debate where Misa could show Light-kun how intelligent she is. "So, if Hawaii and Alaska are right next to each other, why is it so cold in Alaska?"Everyone turned to look at Misa; Misa must've asked a very intelligent question. "Umm that's…..moving along, now about Vietnam, a country…."<p>

"But I thought it was just a war?"

His eye began twitching, probably because of Misa's brilliant questions. "That's the country where the war took place."

"Nuh uh, China is the only country in the world, so that's where we live, but they were wiped out in WWII weren't they?"

"What does that have to do with Vietnam? And you're joking right?"His eyes widened and he shook his head. Misa knows more than the teacher, too bad Light-kun didn't congratulate me as he was too busy making strange noises. His pockets must be really deep as L was still moving his hand. Misa wishes that they would pay attention to her greatness.

"So what about-."

"Miss Amane, could you please stop asking…such amazing questions as your confusing the other students?"

Misa sighed and sat back in her chair, at least the teacher recognized Misa's talent. Misa tried to contain her questions, in which Misa succeeded until teacher put the time line up. "The dates are wrong!"

"Miss Amane, what are you talking about, and go back to your seat."

"Misa-I mean, I want to fix them for you." Misa erased the dates and some of the false information with her corrections. Alexander the great comes after WWXI, who doesn't know that? And of course the Romans try to take over the world during the great depression by killing the Jews. And no the Soviet Union did not fall because of the death of the Tsar, Ethiopia collapsed and took the Soviet Union with them. Misa swears that these teachers are so dumb sometimes. The teacher then proceeded to bang his head on the desk while talking to himself, mister teacher has mental problems. Sometimes Misa thinks that only you understand Mister Diary. Oh well, off to bed now before Light-kun and L start making noises that keep Misa up through the night.

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><p>Did you like it? Did it suck? I have no clue, you tell me. So press that pretty little button, that's right, the on that says 'Review' Write one and press that magical 'submit' button. Why? because it makes me happy, I will continue with this, and because I have no clue if people are actually reading or not. Either way, I hope I haven't killed all of your brain cells by writing this.<p> 


	2. Boyfriend Goes Missing In The Mall

Hi people ^;^ I have another chapter that will bend your brain into many more fun shapes. A great round of applause and thanks is given to demoncookie8D who sacrificed many brain cells in the process while giving me scenarios and proofreading. I did reply to my reviews as they just made me so happy (When I saw my inbox, I got up and did a jig)Thanks to everyone, and I'm sorry if your mind is now a slushy, goopy, liquid like puddle of goo. Happy reading~

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

So today Misa managed to bring Boyfriend-chan to the mall. YAY! All it took was a smile and some rope, although L came along too for some odd reason. Damn, Misa was really hoping that Misa and Boyfriend-chan could spend the day together alone for once, but oh well. Misa had loads of fun, until Light-kun and L went missing; Misa swears that those two are attached at the hip. Misa was concerned so Misa went to the mall police force for help. "Sir! Sir! Boyfriend-chan and his creepy anti social friend are missing! I need help!"

Mister police man gave me a puzzled look; does he not understand how urgent this is?

"Miss, calm down please. We'll help you find them, just give us some names, descriptions, and ages."He took out a green spiral note pad, the red spiral loops were shiny, Misa likes the shiny. Only if he had a giant green crayon, then it would be just like that show with that guy and blue dog, what's his name, Quasimodo?

"There's no time for that! Boyfriend-chan might be in danger!" Thinking quickly and using Misa's wonderful, intelligent ideas, Misa took the thingy that you ride on, you know the one that looks like a pogo stick but you stand on it and it rolls around? Yeah that thing and Misa took his megaphone. Misa needs these powers so she can call down Zeus to summon boyfriend-chan, speaking of which, who is that again? Isn't that the guy who started speaking to the goat? Such a good question, guess it just has to wait for English tomorrow.

"Miss get back here! You can't take that! Damn it, stop that crazy lady! I need back up!" Misa giggled, he can't call for help if Misa has his walkie talkie thingy, which Misa does. Misa was then rolling around on the wheelie thingy; once Misa finds Boyfriend-chan then Misa will see what the pretty flashing buttons do. Misa started shouting into the megaphone "Boyfriend-chan, where are you?" But then Misa remembered, they probably don't know Boyfriend-chan's name. "Light-kun, where are you? Misa's coming, don't you worry!" I don't know if the other people understood me as they were just standing there.

"Don't just stand there! Help me find Light-kun!" Everyone wanted to help Misa, so they moved out of the way and ran in different directions. Strange, they all went for the doors with 'exit' on it. I guess they thought Boyfriend-chan was outside or somewhere near by since a good chunk of the parking lot emptied, they must be searching diligently. Anyway, so Misa was rolling up and down the hallways, pressing a few of the shiny buttons when a brilliant idea came to Misa. Go back to that clothing store we were last in. Silly Misa, why didn't Misa think of that before? On the way there, Misa couldn't help but to press all the pretty buttons, nothing really happened, disappointing Misa. Although Misa did get a great idea and let go of the handle bars. "Look! No hands!"Misa was extremely happy, until Misa rolled into the glass window of 'G Loli Candy'. Thank God that that store clerk was under Misa, leaving Misa without a scratch, and person's ambulance should arrive soon. "Boyfriend-chan, where are you?"He thought he could escape Misa, but Misa is much too smart to fall for that. "Boyfriend-chan, answer me!" Misa saw two pairs of feet in the changing booth. Misa pulled back the curtains. "Light-kun, there you are!" I take it that they ran here to hide as Light-kun was hunched over L, which he had pressed against the wall and they were panting heavily. They're really bad at hide and seek; maybe they were planning on changing their clothes and leaving Misa behind as they were half dressed. Misa really doesn't understand those two, oh well. Good night Mister Diary.

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><p>See that pretty button? That's right, the one next to the orange bubble that says 'Review'. It's beautiful, and sparkly, click it, write some thing and then go about your day. The button's so beautiful that even Misa wants to touch it. So what are you waiting for? write a review and click the submit button, in which case the review fairy will make it appear online. That's right it's magic, I might even make Light do something stupid in the next chapter if you do.<p> 


	3. Recipe For Revenge

Hi people ^;^ this chapter will be a tad bit different since I left my book at school. I hand write all of these first and then type and post, I guess that's why I'm so inconsistent when it comes to updating. So I came up with this off the top of my head since I promised to update, so it might not be up (down rather) to that really low standard I set. Anyway this may offend some, yada yada yada, just a joke blah blah blah, that's my disclaimer.

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><p>Dear diary,<p>

So today Misa is upset. Light-kun and L are spending too much time together, so Misa has come up with a plan. What better way to get Boyfriend-chan's attention than to get him away from L? Misa knows that L likes sweet things, and Misa also knows that it would take a miracle for him to turn it down. Misa is so smart, why can't boyfriend-chan realize it? So Misa made a recipe for Super Secret Sweet Revenge Cake, Misa calls it SSS Chocolate cake for short. Misa can be so evil sometimes, who would've know?

SSS Chocolate Cake:

5 Cups of powdered laxative

3 Bars of laxative chocolate

10 Cups of sugar

2 Pounds of butter

1 Cup of flour

1 Cup of baking soda and powder

3 Eggs

6 Cups of powdered chocolate

7 Bars of chocolate

2 Cups Milk

1 Cup sour milk

So first Misa mixes the laxatives together, and then she adds everything else in. Strange, there are egg shells in this; Misa has never eaten cake with egg shells in it, Misa wonders if they disappear in the oven? Misa thinks that 400 degrees is about right, the faster the better. Misa can't wait for them to finish. Wow, cooking isn't that hard at all, Misa might do this more often. So Misa took the cake out and let it cool while she made the frosting.

SSS Chocolate Frosting:

6 Bars of laxative chocolate

5 Cups sugar

1 Stick of butter

YAY! It looks like regular chocolate cake, although I don't know what I'm going to do with the batter left over. Oh well, I'll just leave it there, Misa is too busy with revenge to clean. So Misa cut a slice and gave it to L, so there are fairies that come and remove the egg shells! Without hesitation he began eating it, go Misa! "So do you like it?" Misa asked giving him one of Misa's cutest smiles. "It's not bad, but it could use more sugar." Score! Misa has revenge and is just waiting for the effects. One more thing, Misa went into the kitchen and saw that all of the cake was gone, Misa doesn't quite get it. Matsuda and the rest of the force have been really quite, a few of them were sitting outside of the bathroom. Misa thinks that the headquarters need more bathrooms, don't you agree? Good night Mister Diary.

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><p>Not what I really wanted to put up, but I had to improvise. So what did you think? I don't mind if you don't like it, just don't go rawr and try to rip my head off, a simple, 'I don't like it.' 'I find this offensive' will do the trick. Also, if anyone of you are brave enough to cook this, share your reactions. I did this once except with cookies at a Halloween party I didn't want to go to. Let's just say that everyone went home early.<p> 


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